I think I’m going to like Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama

Obviously, I don’t know Michelle Obama, and I never will. But from what I read and see of her in the media, I continue to be impressed.

What impresses me? I like her comfort level with Barack Obama. They appear connected and, quite frankly, like they know each other very well and love each other. I hope that’s true. It’s good to see it in a married couple. I saw an interview with them after the election, and I just loved how Michelle gently jumped in when she felt Barack wasn’t quite making his point as well as he could. They came across as a team, a real partnership, and she didn’t come across as subservient to him, as so many wives of the powerful do.

I love how she is trying to raise her children as normally as possible. It must be an impossible situation to try to be a good mom in the midst of a media frenzy, but I think she’s up to the challenge. I think she’ll be a good role model for American moms because she has balanced work and family firsthand. She’s been a mom who works outside the home and one who doesn’t. Granted, her income level is higher than most Americans, and she has access to help in a way most working moms don’t. But I think she gets it. Deep down inside, she gets it. 

I know she got criticized during the campaign for complaining about Barack’s smelly morning breath. Some felt it was too personal. Perhaps. It didn’t bother me. I’ve been know to complain about my own husband’s morning breath. To me, it humanized her. It made her seem like one of us. And it made me think their relationship is real — not a candied version of a marriage — but a real one.

I think she’s smart, and I admire her for not hiding her intelligence as so many women do to not get labeled a know-it-all fit in.

I love that while she’s healthy and in shape, she doesn’t try to hide the fact that she’s got curves. Good for her!

And I like how she dresses, despite all the controversy about her red-and-black dress on Election Night. I like that she wears form-fitting clothing that’s feminine. She doesn’t try to turn herself into a man in a power suit. I like that she wears vivid colors. I think they match her bold personality, which I can’t wait to see more of.

You go girl!

— bitchy mommy

Ever wish you could have a ‘do over’?

I admit it. I had a tantrum, just like a child. Now I didn’t fall to the floor and kick my feet. Mine was more of an oral tantrum, but the result was I acted like a baby.

It all began Saturday morning. My hubby was upset with me about something that I think wasn’t my fault. I thought he was acting childish in blaming me. So what did I do? Turned into a wee one, too.

He tends to retreat when angry; I tend to advance. So here were, two 41-year-old adults acting about as mature as our children, ages 8 and 6. He was ignoring me; I was yelling louder and louder. Now he didn’t stick his fingers in his ears and say “Nah, nah, I can’t hear you” but he might as well. I got just as angry at him as my daughter does when my son acts like my hubby. (That’s the thing about genes; you see your own faults — and strengths — in your kids.)

And I broke all the rules of “good arguments.” I made those sweeping statemtents – “you never, you always” when I really meant “one time you …” I also brought up past, long past, battles, which is never fair.

It wasn’t one of my finer moments. I have a quote from Deepak Chopra pasted to my fridge, and when I listen to it, all goes much better. It reads:  

When you struggle with your partner, you are struggling with yourself. Every fault you see in them touches a denied weakness in yourself. Every conflict you wage is an excuse not to face a conflict within.

Another author, not sure who, put an equally telling message in simpler terms: “When you’re wrong, apologize; when you’re right, shut up.”

Both sentiments are so true because when I quarrel, particularly with someone I love, I seldom seem to be arguing about whatever is the subject of the fight. It’s really about something deeper, something related to my own fears, something maybe having nothing to do with the person.

In this case, I think I misdirected my anger at my hubby because there are other parts of my life where I feel powerless. He’s an easy target because he did something that ticked me off. I am Bitchy Mommy, after all. 

That isn’t to say, he did nothing wrong. I think he could have handled things differently, too, but I can control only me. Likely, if he were reading this, he’d say I’m overthinking it all. A fight is just a fight.

Maybe that’s true. But, honey, if you are reading this. I’m sorry. I really think you’re a wonderful husband, which is why I expect so much.

Boy, I wish I could just have a “do over.”